Preeclampsia is a horrible disease. No question about that. Anyone who's ever experienced it, especially in its severe form, wouldn't wish it on any other woman, EVER.
So why, then, does it seem like lately I'm looking for pre-e everywhere I go, almost.......dare I say it........*hoping* to find out that someone's experienced it? But as I do so, I'm also pondering, "Why?", and here's what I've come up with:
Often, I think we pre-e survivors feel alone, like there can't possibly be anyone out there who understands what we've been through, what we've lost to this disease. So, when I hear of a woman who has had...........
........ unnamed "pregnancy complications"
I immediately wonder, and then ask, whether it was preeclampsia that caused it. It's like I'm some kind of pathetic preeclampsia detective or something, constantly searching it out and following leads wherever I find them. Last week, a friend from church sent out a group email about her niece who'd just lost a baby at about 20 weeks. Didn't say if it was known why the baby passed on, but I wrote to her to ask if it was pre-e, and then to offer my support (and that of my website) if so. At school today, the "keep in your prayers" board had listed the wife of a teacher, who's baby was born more than a week ago, and it says "complications after pregnancy". So of course, I had to snoop around and ask other teachers who might know the story. Was she seizing? Swelling? BP trouble? Turns out, she had a staph infection after a csection.......and I felt (horrible, I know) vaguely disappointed in some weird way.
I guess that I'm searching for connections with other women who know how preeclampsia feels, as opposed to most people who don't even know what the word means. I've met women around the world via the Web, and we all have suffered the loss of the idyllic pregnancy we've grown up expecting. When we meet other survivors, we don't feel so alone anymore. And since a true cure or preventative for pre-e hasn't been found YET, new members are added to our survivor ranks every single day. I'll just keep on looking for them, looking to connect with my sisters, so that they don't ever have to feel alone either.